28 July, 2005

Games set and scratch

News sources yesterday released more details of how the 2012 Olympic Games will be paid for by lottery scratchcards.

Good news all round I think, even if the principles of the Olympian movement and the Lottery seem a little inconsistent.

The National Lottery embodies so many Olympian ideals doesn't it? Hard work, a firm grasp of reality, fair competition amongst your peers. No not those Olympian ideas, I mean the ancient ones when Zeus' hand reached down from Mount Olympus and could bestow immense fortune on a random citizen, for no other reason than to remind the toga-wearing motherfuckers that it could happen to you, and next time it might not be fortune that gets bestowed Stavros, kapisch?

The Modern Olympic Games are supposed to be a paragon of sporting excellence - no short-cuts here, oh no. You don't win the gold medal with three-in-a-row on your scratchcard, it's nowt but hard fucking grind, and if you don't like that then sorry fella bad luck.

The creed, or guiding principle, of the modern Olympic Games is a quote by the originator of the modern Olympic Games, Baron de Coubertin:
"The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well." If only the Thunderball rollover was played in that spirit.

No, here's the best bit. When I'm riding my bicycle round the People's Velodrome in 2014 having enjoyed the lovely transport network to get there, it will be improved by the rosy glow that comes from knowing it was paid for by a bunch of turkey-twizzler eating charvers for whom fresh air might as well be kryptonite.

Truly these games will unite the whole nation.

11 Step to the white courtesy phone:

Blogger bigfootcookie shout your mess

"...it was paid for by a bunch of turkey-twizzler eating charvers for whom fresh air might as well be kryptonite"


How true. And at the same time sad.

But mostly funny.

July 28, 2005 12:17 pm

Blogger MrNoxious shout your mess

How do you train for Olympic scratchcards? Second thoughts, I guess the charvers already have a good wrist-action.

July 28, 2005 12:58 pm

Blogger Chris shout your mess

It's not just the charvers MrN, I'm sat here unemployed with nowt but a broadband connection.

Sure hon, I've been looking for a job...

Top of the list at the moment is poolboy, followed by plumber.

Thanks for the thumbs-up BFC, tell your friends, I'm here all week - try the veal.

July 28, 2005 1:12 pm

Blogger Taoski shout your mess

Maybe, like Tommie Smith and John Carlos who at the Mexico City Olympics in 1968 held their black gloved hands aloft in support of Black Power and Unity in America whilst standing on the winners podium, we could all go an buy a scratchcard and hold it above our heads in protest.

If you could get a big red hand in the shape of the national lottery logo - even better!

July 28, 2005 3:19 pm

Blogger psmly01 shout your mess

Chris, I don't know whether you are alerted to late comers like myself who have nearly polished off a bottle of Jack commenting on near ancient posts at 1.32am but, having spent a week at a villa in portugal not too long ago, I feel that pool cleaning could be a healthy career choice.....spend all day naked but for an open shell suit and flip flops.....I just gotta work on the tight perm. And maybe some gold trinket like adornments.

December 10, 2005 1:31 am

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