Games set and scratch

News sources yesterday released more details of how the 2012 Olympic Games will be paid for by lottery scratchcards.

Good news all round I think, even if the principles of the Olympian movement and the Lottery seem a little inconsistent.

The National Lottery embodies so many Olympian ideals doesn't it? Hard work, a firm grasp of reality, fair competition amongst your peers. No not those Olympian ideas, I mean the ancient ones when Zeus' hand reached down from Mount Olympus and could bestow immense fortune on a random citizen, for no other reason than to remind the toga-wearing motherfuckers that it could happen to you, and next time it might not be fortune that gets bestowed Stavros, kapisch?

The Modern Olympic Games are supposed to be a paragon of sporting excellence - no short-cuts here, oh no. You don't win the gold medal with three-in-a-row on your scratchcard, it's nowt but hard fucking grind, and if you don't like that then sorry fella bad luck.

The creed, or guiding principle, of the modern Olympic Games is a quote by the originator of the modern Olympic Games, Baron de Coubertin:
"The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not to win but to take part, just as the most important thing in life is not the triumph but the struggle. The essential thing is not to have conquered but to have fought well." If only the Thunderball rollover was played in that spirit.

No, here's the best bit. When I'm riding my bicycle round the People's Velodrome in 2014 having enjoyed the lovely transport network to get there, it will be improved by the rosy glow that comes from knowing it was paid for by a bunch of turkey-twizzler eating charvers for whom fresh air might as well be kryptonite.

Truly these games will unite the whole nation.