Krusty brand

Usually I try and retain a little perspective... lawd knows life and the internet is full of people getting a little bit too worked up about inconsequential stuff. But there are limits.

I regularly buy motorbike magazines. It's not something I'm proud of but I'm old enough to do it and it's my money so there. I just slip it inside a copy of Shaven Ravers and pay for it as quickly as possible. Then when I've smuggled it home I typically shake it over the bin to allow all the leaflets for Dunlop tyres, Insurance offers and whatnot to descend otherwise they fall like the autumn leaves when I read the mag in the bath and cause all sorts of nonsense.

One of these unsolicited communications is often a catalogue of specially selected itemries aimed at the motorcycle enthusiast. Gloves, boots, jackets, little die-cast models of motorcycles, t-shirts with reproductions of olde tyme motoring logos in a worn distressed style, you know the kind of thing. This company has a particular fascination with Steve McQueen. Nothing odd about that I hear you say, Steve's the 'King of Cool'™ a bona fide dude who loved cars bikes and racing, a style icon. Men want to be him women want to be with him etc. And rather handily for this motorcycle apparel vendor Steve used to wear a lot of desirable brands when riding, Belstaff, Barbour, Bell (it never occurred to me before... was Steve only wearing stuff that started with B?) and being Steve he was regularly photographed in these products looking cool as fuck.Fair play all round I say - you get to buy the same jacket McQueen wore, swallow a modicum of disappointment when you look at yourself in the full length mirror and realise it doesn't look as good on you... *Of course it doesn't he's Steve McFuckingQueen, you're not!* everybody's happy.

A slight note of caution was sounded last time one arrived and I notice they are offering our own faithful copy of the sweatshirt that McQueen wore in nearly all but the very first scenes of The Great Escape. Is it me or is that just a bit too creepy? It's just a cut down sweatshirt... it looked cool 'cos it was Steve McFucki... really do we need to go through this again?



But holy fuck have they jumped right over the shark this time. Somebody somewhere decided this 'Le Mans helmet' was a good idea. Never mind the terrible inconsistencies that mean it bears absolutely no relation to the helmet Steve's character Michael Delaney wears in the film.

McQueen wore several different designs of open face lid when he was racing bikes, tasteful period pieces to a man, and reproductions of these are also offered for sale. But clearly these are too subtle, they don't telegraph quite the correct message about the wearer. If you can say quite what that message might be leave a comment, I'm absolutely at a loss.

Just fucking look at it... you can click on the pics if you want them larger




It's awful in almost every possible way. Yes that's right it DOES have a black & white photo of Mr McQueen on one side, Sir has a discerning eye. Jesus! The mind boggles.

WHO is going to buy or wear one of these? WILL they carry it about in the awful plastic bag? HOW did they make it look so... so plasticky and cheap? IS that the sound of somebody spinning in a grave?