31 August, 2005

International Chav spotting

It is reassuring to discover that moronic criminals aren't just confined to Britain.

Three men trying to steal fuel from a New Zealand farm ended up setting fire to their own car.

Police say the trio had siphoned diesel into a petrol-driven vehicle.

When their car would not start, they examined the fuel pipe using a cigarette lighter.

One click, a boom and the car burst into flames.

"It wasn't a major whodunnit," senior sergeant Ross Gilbert, of the small North Island town of Waipukurau, said. The men, aged 18 to 19, escaped injury but were charged with theft.

"Fortunately for them, there is no criminal charge for stupidity."

Can you imagine if there was though? Once we'd built several extra prisons and sworn in housewives as judges to deal with the backlog of cases, we could be living in a utopian dream.

Empty roads and polite people, always a seat in the pub, every Saturday night a taxi available. I think we're onto something here, and if we can incorporate a "three strikes and you're out" ruling...

4 Step to the white courtesy phone:

Blogger Richard shout your mess

I would be happy to take on that role as my new job of benevolent dictator.

August 31, 2005 9:35 am

Blogger Chris shout your mess

All hail our benevolent dictator.

Any chance of a job in the Ministry for Bra inspection?

August 31, 2005 9:52 am

Blogger Richard shout your mess

Your earlier post about windmills and fly tipping at crash sites was prophetic as on the local news tonight there was a piece about a joy rider that smashed his car into a house last night. His bovinesque girlfriend was blubbing at the seen of the "tragedy", and I wondered how long it would be until the driveway of the house he plowed into was filled with teddy bears and plastic windmills.

August 31, 2005 7:50 pm

Blogger Chris shout your mess

Feel my divine powers and tremble...

Whilst you n=may be our benevolent dictator I am become a god

"I am great OZYMANDIAS," saith the stone,
"The King of Kings; this mighty City shows
"The wonders of my hand." – The City's gone, –
Nought but the Leg remaining to disclose
The site of this forgotten Babylon.

August 31, 2005 8:36 pm


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