International Chav spotting

It is reassuring to discover that moronic criminals aren't just confined to Britain.

Three men trying to steal fuel from a New Zealand farm ended up setting fire to their own car.

Police say the trio had siphoned diesel into a petrol-driven vehicle.

When their car would not start, they examined the fuel pipe using a cigarette lighter.

One click, a boom and the car burst into flames.

"It wasn't a major whodunnit," senior sergeant Ross Gilbert, of the small North Island town of Waipukurau, said. The men, aged 18 to 19, escaped injury but were charged with theft.

"Fortunately for them, there is no criminal charge for stupidity."

Can you imagine if there was though? Once we'd built several extra prisons and sworn in housewives as judges to deal with the backlog of cases, we could be living in a utopian dream.

Empty roads and polite people, always a seat in the pub, every Saturday night a taxi available. I think we're onto something here, and if we can incorporate a "three strikes and you're out" ruling...