Business news

UK leisure firm Hilton Group has confirmed it is in talks with US near namesake Hilton Hotels Corporation about the sale of its hotel business. The companies are separate concerns, with Hilton Hotels Corporation running Hilton hotels in the US, while Hilton Group owns those outside America.

Hilton Group said talks were going on, but cautioned that the deal was not yet completed. Shares in Hilton closed 13.3% higher at 345.50 pence on Friday. "The board confirms that it has received an indicative offer from Hilton Hotels Corporation, which it is currently evaluating," Hilton Group said in a statement.

A senior manager at the London Hilton who wished to remain unamed was upbeat. "When the boss dies we'll be working hard to line Paris Hilton's pockets. Great, perhaps she'd like another accesory lapdog, or an Indian boy to blow coke up her jewel encrusted vag whilst somebody tries to explain how a simple door works. Perhaps I could work myself to death helping to ensure nothing interupts her sleepy doe-eyed world as a hired ex-reality hunk fucks her noisily - daydreaming of his tell-all special on Fox."

"Excuse me, I need to find some even cheaper illegal labour for the night cleaning staff, we must keep the share price up or Paris won't get her new toys."