Adland

If you have spent your televisual life in one of the larger regions like Granadaland as it was known back in the day then it may be that the local micro-budget ad has passed you by entirely. Not for much longer we confidently predict.

As yet more channels pop-up like yeast infections on a chav, and digital recording and editing equipment is available for a modest outlay we can look forward to a whole new era in car advertising. As always, where Uncle Sam leads we shall follow.



"Hmm, I've got my neat new JVC camcorder, and half a tape left after I filmed the wife in a crispy plastic trimmed basque, let's get this commercial made! Actors? Pshaw! I can simply buy a bag of crack and get those streetwalkers to be in my ad. Hell, the one with the meth sores and collapsed nose will probably blow me too. Score!"

To be fair he's probably shifted a couple of cars because of this spot. If DFS has taught us nothing else it's that drilling home a repetitive message with bright colours and HI-NRG beats works a treat with the unwashed hordes.

Far worse is Jacky Jones, a Ford dealer from Cleveland, Georgia. Jacky fancies himself as a bit of an auteur. I think it's fair to say he's worn out his copy of Apocalypse Now Redux looking for lighting tips. As a dark and brooding soundtrack that would have Thom Yorke saying "Fuck me Jacky it's a bit depressing isn't it?" lingers Jacky pops the cherry on top with his backwoods Goergia drawl...

"Come take advantage.. the beast is out there". Am I the only one who is mentally adding "Squeal little piggy!"?



Jacky Jones has got Ford prices that will haunt your dreams. Forever.