Taking the bistro

Enjoying a post-work pint last night I witnessed some arse-clenchingly bad parking. Nothing particularly unusual about that you might say, stick around long enough and you'll see someone make a complete twat of a simple manouvre.

Then you my friend are a terrorist sympathiser and might just as well have blown up a bus yourself. If you are not living 24 - 7 in a start of terror-alertness then you may as well give up our holy war now, you make me sick.

Upon witnessing some twatish driving the good folk of Lincolnshire knew what to do. They immediately called the police, and reported that the driver, a foreign type, probably had a gun too.

Shocked diners watched as the man broke a window at La Fontana, on North Street in Bourneon Friday evening. Armed police were called at around 7.20pm.

Officers now believe the driver had been trying to reverse out of a difficult car parking space.

See the pic above to judge just how difficult that parking job must have been. You may reconsider letting the wife drive in future if you don't wish to die in a hail of bullets or get beaten to death by an angry mob of turnip farmers.