15 October, 2006

Plain car

Yes Saab, you make planes too.

We get it.

Nobody is interested. Really.

Yet another agency briefing...

Bjorn: "You see Saab also manufacture jet planes"

Agency suit: "Yes we know. Every single advert ever made about your cars has referred to it. Have you considered a different approach?"

Bjorn: "But, y'know, jet planes?"

Suit: "Nobody cares. Saab's are bought by dentists who want a BMW but can't bring themselves to go for the obvious choice. They completely miss the irony that their own selection is as predictable as the seasons.

They think somehow they're making the sophisticated Scandinavian design choice, elegant understatement, knowing nods. And then some prick in a bar tells them they're driving a re-badged Vectra.

You do know that Kawasaki Heavy Industries Make military aircraft too?

Yeah, they also make power stations, supertankers, industrial plants, tractors, trains, heavy robots and aerospace equipment."

Bjorn: "Really?"

Suit: "Yes really."

Bjorn (writing cheque) : "So we can say how it was developed with jet fighter technology and have a wooshing jet sound"

Suit: "Of course"

8 Step to the white courtesy phone:

Blogger Ghone shout your mess

Ever seen a Saab plane though?

October 16, 2006 10:02 pm

Blogger Chris shout your mess

Yes, the fighter planes are quite distinctive they're committed to canard wing technology, having the elevator control surfaces forward of the lifting surfaces.

It makes their planes idiosyncratic and technology led - just like the cars used to be. D'oh!

And with names like Draken, Viggen and Gripen I can't decide if they sound more like Scandinavian Death Metallers or Santa's reserve sleigh team.

October 17, 2006 7:25 am

Blogger Roo shout your mess

They are pretty fab looking planes - pity the advert for the Saab estate irriatates the shit out of me.. I keep expecting it to be blown off the road by the low flying jet that is just off camera.

October 17, 2006 5:25 pm

Blogger Richard shout your mess

You never see the delivery of precision guided munitions when you want it do you?

October 18, 2006 6:42 pm

Blogger Richard shout your mess

Hyundai also make oil tankers and machine guns. You've gotta wonder who buys them though. I'm guessing old age pensioners.

October 18, 2006 6:44 pm

Blogger Chris shout your mess

These new Korean weapons systems represent excellent value for money. You're not just paying for a name and a big advertising campaign.

I'd imagine most are made using tooling from Western models that are perfectly usable but no longer fashionable.

And if your not interested in long range usage - just pottering about locally, say, the Golden triangle...

(I seem to be creeping away from bad satire towards the depressing reality. Ho hum)

October 19, 2006 8:49 am

Blogger MadMondo shout your mess

The adverts are truer than you might think - a Saab Viggen pilot told me the joystick is actually sourced from '97 Vectras.

October 19, 2006 1:49 pm

Blogger MadMondo shout your mess

Mind you, at least Saab a veneer of distinctiveness from their Opel counterparts - Jaguar can hardly be bothered to remove the Ford badges from their components before half arsedly shoving them together and asking an outrageous amount for the piss poor result. Pay attention Bjorn: as a consequence of Henry's boy's 'strategy' Jag is now utterly fucked (and Aston appears to be following very closely behind).

October 19, 2006 2:00 pm


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