18 June, 2008

Bump, without the grind

In Philadelphia the police are using the same optical techniques that are employed at sports stadia to paint adverts on the pitch skewed precisely so they will appear 'correct' for the TV cameras - to test virtual speed bumps painted on the road.

From the point of view of the approaching driver they look like fairly convincing bumps, especially if you're going a wee bit too fast.

It's the perfect Daily Mail readers speed bump! Installed on your suburban street the locals can glide over it in their Land Rover Defender at 46mph* with impunity, whilst it penalises people who aren't from round here and don't realise it's an optical illusion, it probably helps with the house prices too. If we can convince Paul Dacre that they cause sterility in asylum seekers then their success in Middle England is assured.

I think they're a great idea as long as there is one slight adjustment:
They should be periodically switched for a very real, very solid concrete version every once in a while at random. The look on a driver's face as their sump is ripped out at precisely 46mph is a thing of exquisite beauty.

*Defenders go at 46mph everywhwere - this allows horsey women to tut as they are overtaken on an open country road and then catch up through the small villages.

3 Step to the white courtesy phone:

Blogger Roo shout your mess

I just know you have been tutted at ... ;o)

June 18, 2008 7:23 p.m.

Blogger RiderMondo shout your mess

What they need are those hydraulic posts normally reserved for bus access in city centres activated by a speed camera. Chortle as a spiked steel piston is driven up through the sump of their pride and joy.

June 24, 2008 12:34 a.m.

Blogger RiderMondo shout your mess

Mind you there's no accounting for some drivers...

June 25, 2008 9:07 p.m.


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