"Looks like an Indian put it in"

Men pay to learn British manners at what is being billed as the world's first finishing school for gentlemen, learning how to set the cutlery can be just as tricky as the fly fishing. But after three days in a Scottish castle, the students emerge knowing everything from how much to tip the gamekeeper to how to walk with a book balanced on their heads.

"We have opened the floodgates of politeness around the world," said Diana Mather whose Finishing Academy has now attracted candidates from as far afield as Canada, Pakistan and Japan said Mather, a former actress and BBC presenter - reports Australia's ABC news

Mather whose IMDB entry lists no BBC presenting work at all, just one shonky Ken Russell film (bearing in mind there is an entry as long as your arm for Kate Thornton - professional talent-vacuum, will do clip-show talking-head work for cab fare.) is tapping into the age old desire for the new-money middle classes to buy into a non-existent world of upper-class manners.

The British aristocracy are the rudest, stupidest bunch of in-bred racist curs you'd ever cross the road to avoid, but one of their few saving graces is a charming arrogance and insane self belief. They don't need some filthy prole to tell them which fork to use, as the Duke of Edinburgh would say "whichever one I choose you dirty fucking peasant".