Shock findings

If you want a survey that is both utterly pointless and so teeth grindingly obvious that it makes you smash your head into a wall to stop the tide of idiocy filling any more precious brain cells... you'll need to employ an accountancy firm.

Some 200 London and Manchester cab drivers were polled by accountancy firm BDO Stoy Hayward to coincide with Gordon Brown's pre-budget report on Monday, they were asked what policies they would pursue if they were chancellor for a day. Wait for it...

Black cab drivers would cut fuel tax.

Fuck a doodle doo! I can imagine your astonishment dear reader. Who'da thunkit, professional full-time vehicle operators would like to spend less on fuel. If only John Maynard Keynes were alive to interpret this nugget of economic wisdom.

Another popular measure was financially penalising school run motorists. Really? Well I never.

Most popular policies though with black cab drivers were the systematic dismantling of all GPS technologies, and sending all the wogs back to Calais nar worramean guv?