Transport of delight

You're young, you're hip, you wanna distinctive personal transportation solution right? But the Segway is just a bit too, well, west coast for you.

Worry no more. The good folk at Hammacher Schlemmer of New York have been providing expensive gadgets to social mountaineers for years.

Hailed by The New York Times as a "miniature flying saucer with handlebars", the hover scooter provides an unprecedented experience in personal transportation.

Apparently.

Learning to ride the scooter takes less than five minutes, and no previous skateboarding, surfing, snowboarding, or other experience is required. Which is handy, because if you can afford one of these things, chances are you spent your youth at Polo matches, not hanging by the halfpipe smoking draw.

Yep it's a snip at $16,999.95, and they go on to boast...

"It can even travel up minor inclines. Stopping is as easy as releasing the throttle and clutch controls and allowing the hovering scooter to gently coast to a halt over a distance of approximately twenty feet."

Doesn't that sound exciting? Who an earth would rather spend $10,999 on a Suzuki GSXR 1000 capable of accelerating so hard your face falls off, cornering at brain melting velocity, until you run out of talent and it leaves you grinning in a ditch with $6,000 in change to spend on decent leathers and hospital bills.