Branson Prickle

According to reports from the BBC tedious self publicist Sir Richard Branson is to invest $3bn to fight global warming.

The Virgin boss said he would commit all profits from his travel firms, such as airline Virgin Atlantic and Virgin Trains, over the next 10 years.

Quite where the Beeb got the figure of $3 billion from is anybody's guess - if the accounts are run like the rest of tricky Dicky's Virgin companies there'll be a suspicious lack of profits to go with the headline grabbing PR puff.

"We must rapidly wean ourselves off our dependence on coal and fossil fuels," Sir Richard said. The massive benefits to global climate that will be reaped from the daring innovative launch of yet another low cost airline - Virgin Express are clearly not enough...

...the tiresome media-obsessed prick has now launched Virgin Galactic, an opportunity to burn previously undreamed of quantities of aviation fuel to take wealthy idiots to the edge of space for no particular reason.

Branson's commitment to environmental responsibility is reminiscent of Ian Huntley's attitude to childcare, only slightly more repellant.