04 May, 2007

Scumball 3000

With the tragic inevitability that we all saw coming from several miles away the trustafarian's favourite rally Gumball 3000 has had a fatal road smash.

British citizens Nicholas Morley and Matthew McConville's 911 crossed over the center lane and crashed into a Golf. The crash left one Macedonian citizen dead. The victim's wife, who has suffered heavy injuries in the accident, is in critical condition.

So far so predictable - take one supercar, add a hooray henry with a sense of entitlement the size of an aircraft hangar and fuck-all driving skill. Season liberally with lack of sleep and and a bunch of like minded(?) friends who organise jollies in dirt poor countries because they can effectively buy their way out of needing to take responsibility on the road.

The real touch of class was the fact that the drivers then instead of trying to help, fled the scene in an attempt to make a break for the border. Nice.

The good news is that they are now in custody with a formal accusation against Morley for "heavy violation of traffic safety" and "failure to provide help to an injured person." One can only hope that Macedonian jails are fetid hellholes.

These trust-fund cuntfests have always been extremely offensive to any decent person, never mind petrolhead - now I expect we can look forward to swingeing new clampdowns on all forms of rallying and motor enthusiasm on public roads. Great.

I'm all for organising a posse of motorcyclists from the Northwich Thundersprint and some vintage rally enthusiasts to drag the bodies of Paris Hilton and Tara Pom Diddle Eye behind a Lotus Cortina down the King's Road as a warning to the rest of them. Who's with me?

4 Step to the white courtesy phone:

Blogger MadMondo shout your mess

I understand that the aquisition of firearms is also considerably easier in that part of the world. Just a thought.

May 04, 2007 7:51 pm

Blogger Roo shout your mess

what sort of rope do I bring?

May 13, 2007 8:09 pm

Anonymous Andrew Zalotocky shout your mess

I loathe the Scumballers too. What they represent is the old aristocratic mentality - the idea that a wad of cash and a double-barrelled surname buys the right to ignore the law and kill the lower orders for their amusement. Ropes are a good start, but a guillotine would be more appropriate.

Of course, many of the participants are just modern dim celebs rather than old-style aristos. But that's a reminder of how much the celebrity culture promoted by the media is like aristocracy, except that in the modern version certain individuals come to be treated as a superior class of being by the accident of fame rather than the accident of birth.

May 28, 2007 11:08 pm

Anonymous Andrew Zalotocky shout your mess

Not that I'm suggesting that every celeb deserves to be decapitated.

But I'm struggling to find a way of using the words "Myleene Klass" and "head" in the same sentence without the risk of it being construed as grossly obscene.

May 28, 2007 11:20 pm


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