04 August, 2005

God still at large in Toronto area

Relief after 'miracle' air escape BBC

Miracle fireball survivors Sun

'A miracle' no deaths as Air France flight skids off runway, burns in Toronto CBC

Canadian Transport minister Jean Lapierre commented...
"I would say this is a miracle," he said. "It's nothing short of a miracle."
He then wildly shouted into the still-turbulent skies an anxious prayer entreating his vengeful God to spare the airport infrastructure.

On the accident, Greater Toronto Airport Authority spokesman Steve Shaw said the reason for so few injuries was because of the speed and professionalism of everyone involved. "The aircraft was evacuated very rapidly, the emergency services responded very quickly," he said. Luckily an angry mob swiftly descended on the heretic, and his foul pernicous lies were stopped with the purifying flames of righteousness.

Devious sinners may suggest that the lack of huge numbers of fireball related deaths was attributable to a small amount of fuel available at the end of a long-haul flight from Paris to Toronto. Or the relative difficulty of atmospheric ignition of fumes in a torrential downpour. Or that Toronto's Pearson Airport had been under a "red alert" since midday on Tuesday because of the danger of lightning, and had well trained experts on the scene in seconds. Their godless ways will see them suffer in a lake of brimstone for eternity.

Editors have been informed of the papal decree from the vatican on the strict definition of the term miracle, and it's usage in news reporting. Supporters in the campaign for the beatification of John Paul the second point to "the miracle of the free car-park space near the trolleys" and "the miracle of the sun rising in the morning".

9 Step to the white courtesy phone:

Blogger Pope Benedict XVI shout your mess

I find your lack of faith disturbing...

August 04, 2005 8:00 am

Blogger Pope Benedict XVI shout your mess

Oh, and 1nt by the power of Mother Church

August 04, 2005 8:02 am

Blogger Chris shout your mess

Ahh, Mr Ratzinger, up early I see. Glad you could make it.

How's your son Dirk doing since the A-Team was cancelled?

August 04, 2005 8:14 am

Blogger Richard shout your mess

Funny as fuck Mr Driver! I was ranting the same thing to the missus last night. "MIRACLE? MIRACLE? What about all the people that jumped into action because they were prepared for this sort of thing to happen? What about the fact that the plane was nearly empty of fuel?" I really think the press were disappointed that nobody was fried alive. I could tangibly hear the lament in their voices.

August 04, 2005 9:21 am

Blogger Chris shout your mess

Poor MrsBob. I can see her now, rocking the baby with one hand, wiping a rant-induced fleck of spittle away with the other as Bob rails at the sky in his jockeys late into the night...

And another thing...

August 04, 2005 9:38 am

Blogger Taoski shout your mess

WhiteBoy lying on the floor on his tummy with a can of lager in his hand barking filth at the TV. His long suffering wife nodding... "yes dear..."

August 04, 2005 11:22 am

Blogger Chris shout your mess

barking filth

mwa ha ha ha!

August 04, 2005 12:03 pm

Blogger bigfootcookie shout your mess


August 05, 2005 9:31 am

Blogger Richard shout your mess

Woof! Cnut! Bark! Feck! Growl! P!ss flaps!

August 05, 2005 1:30 pm


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