15 August, 2005

NDA to buy “Really big rug”

by WhiteBoyBob

Decommissioning the UK's ageing nuclear power stations will cost billions of pounds more than originally expected. In its first report, the Nuclear Decommissioning Authority estimates that £56bn will have to be spent cleaning up 20 sites. NDA wants to speed up the clean-up, including that of the ageing Magnox plants, from 125 years to 25 years.

NDA Chairman Sir Anthony Cleaver said today, “We tried chucking it in the sea when no-one was looking but it kept washing up on the beaches and killing things”. So, with a new strategy in mind the NDA has decided to buy a really big rug to stick over much of Lincolnshire under which they plan to sweep all high level nuclear waste from decommissioned plants.

“This option is obviously a lot more expensive than chucking it in the sea, but when the Jocks and Micks kept dropping down dead we decided an alternative solution had to be sought. My sister-in-law came up with the idea a few weeks ago at a splendid barbeque we were at, and we all thought it was a super idea. It’ll save a lot of time decommissioning the old power stations and anyway it’s not like anyone goes to Lincolnshire is it? Well, anyone that counts.”

4 Step to the white courtesy phone:

Blogger Chris shout your mess

Don't forget - if you have a dangerous spill, or horrific security breach, you can always rename the place.

Works a charm.

August 15, 2005 9:05 pm

Blogger Richard shout your mess

Gamma radiation is now to be called Magic Moon Beams. Ahhhhhh.

August 15, 2005 9:13 pm

Blogger Chris shout your mess

You may joke....

US gov literature to the residents of Monument Valley where the overground tests took place (and incidentally where J Wayne filmed a lot of westerns whose cast and crews all died of cancer) talked about "Sunshine units when referring to radiation levels.

August 15, 2005 9:53 pm

Blogger bigfootcookie shout your mess

A nice big rug would be great for the enviroment as well.

Imagine all the hedgehogs and badgers that could hibernate underneath it.

And also the added bonus of free underfloor heating for anyone who builds a new house on top.


August 16, 2005 9:54 am


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