NDA to buy “Really big rug”

by WhiteBoyBob
Staffwriter

Decommissioning the UK's ageing nuclear power stations will cost billions of pounds more than originally expected. In its first report, the Nuclear Decommissioning Authority estimates that £56bn will have to be spent cleaning up 20 sites. NDA wants to speed up the clean-up, including that of the ageing Magnox plants, from 125 years to 25 years.

NDA Chairman Sir Anthony Cleaver said today, “We tried chucking it in the sea when no-one was looking but it kept washing up on the beaches and killing things”. So, with a new strategy in mind the NDA has decided to buy a really big rug to stick over much of Lincolnshire under which they plan to sweep all high level nuclear waste from decommissioned plants.

“This option is obviously a lot more expensive than chucking it in the sea, but when the Jocks and Micks kept dropping down dead we decided an alternative solution had to be sought. My sister-in-law came up with the idea a few weeks ago at a splendid barbeque we were at, and we all thought it was a super idea. It’ll save a lot of time decommissioning the old power stations and anyway it’s not like anyone goes to Lincolnshire is it? Well, anyone that counts.”