11 August, 2005

Road to Damascus, extremely abrasive

A woman who apparently jumped from a Hummer limousine as it traveled on Interstate 405 early today was killed, authorities said.

A preliminary investigation showed the woman was struck by several cars after jumping out of the limousine, said police Sgt. Loren Wyrick, adding that investigators have not ruled her death a suicide. "We don't have her ID yet, we don't know what the motivation was and the circumstances leading to her death," Wyrick said.

Investigators are working on the basis that the victim had a sudden debilitating insight into the state of mind that leads anybody to believe a Hummer is in any way at all an aspirational vehicle, not merely a grotesque indicator of multiple personality disorders.

This was probably compounded by the awful realisation that stretch vehicles are now purely the preserve of minor porn entrepreneurs, and ten-a-penny cackling hen-nights.

"When you look at it in this light, it's not really surprising"

7 Step to the white courtesy phone:

Blogger Richard shout your mess

The human race needs to go, it really does.

August 11, 2005 12:15 pm

Blogger Chris shout your mess

I swear to Bob, I've seen at least half a dozen of these things plying the M25 and and M1, and I don't get out much. Exactly how special do the people inside them feel?

They must be three-deep outside Ritzy's nightclubs up and down the land.

August 11, 2005 12:35 pm

Blogger bigfootcookie shout your mess

There is some doughnut in Birmigham who has a Hummer, and parks it in the town centre. Bright yellow twatty looking.

I reckon the bint jumped when she found she had to pay by the hour for the limo, but the fuel was extra.

7 MPG around town. 10-13MPG on a run.

For fucks sake.

August 11, 2005 2:29 pm

Blogger Chris shout your mess

And that's the fuel economy for the standard vehicle Now factor in an extra 500kg of metal, 12kg Happy Shopper Lambrusco, 3 pints St Tropez.

Not to mention the *ahem* payload.

August 11, 2005 3:15 pm

Blogger Taoski shout your mess

Hummy = yummy

August 11, 2005 11:16 pm

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