Fantasy archetype under threat

Sales of schoolgirls' trousers have overtaken those of skirts for the first time, figures suggest.

Retailer Woolworths said trousers had accounted for 52% of the relevant market this year, an increase from only 2% in 2002.
"If the decline continues at its current pace, skirts could be a thing of the past in schools by 2017," a company spokeswoman said.

Specialists are worried about the future impact on demand for schoolgirl themed scat and bongo mags. "A pleated skirt that can be lifted up with an innnocent look to camera is pre-requisite" said Dirk Johnson from his tawdry Essex home yesterday. "You might as well ask me not to pull roughly on her ponytail, as I plough her tight khaki buttonhole".

Other grumble experts are less worried. "I can't remember the last time I saw a French maid in real life" remarked Brad Shooter, "But I still love to throw my muck over those frilly white headress things until her face looks like a plasterer's radio."