Rack 'em out

Cocaine use is continuing to rise in England and Wales according to new Home Office research.

The drug is now the second most popular after cannabis, with more than three-quarters of a million people saying they have used it in the last year.

They're also saying, "that they've just had a, wait no, I gotta tell you this idea I've had. No shut up listen. It's brilliant really you'll piss yourself. What if we, I mean humans, not us, well not you and me but people... wait. No it's gone. But it was really good yeah? Whose round is it? Fuck off is it! Oh shit yeah well... oh wait that was it..fancy a bump?"

Home Office research blames the "rather moorish" nature of the social stimulant.