22 October, 2005

Kiss me Hardy, but not french

Yesterday many people around Britain remembered what was undoubtably one of the countries most important naval victories.At the Battle of Trafalgar on 21 October 1805 the Royal Navy defeated Napoleon's combined French and Spanish fleet in a famous and crushing victory.

Generally interesting coverage was marred only by a succession of people when asked about the importance of the historic victory responded "Well, if it wasn't for Nelson we'd all be speaking French now wouldn't we?" usually with a look to camera that suggested a new Oscar Wilde walked amongst us.

Apart from the crushing banality of this oft-pronounced cliche (insert Americans/French/German as required) it's clearly bollocks. Germany defeated twice last century, not yet ordering tiffin in jolly old english.

But it might explain the continued insurgency in Iraq. Locals think American and British occupying forces are obsessed with insisting the poor buggers learn english as soon as possible. After years of sanctions and living under the brutal regime of Saddam Hussein they finally broke - thinking they're going to be forced to learn a weird language full of homonyms and odd tenses.

7 Step to the white courtesy phone:

Anonymous Anonymous shout your mess

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There was a time, way back in the late 1990s, when coolhunting was still cool, when nearly every Madison Avenue ad agency wanted a resident hipster to interpret the spending habits of those inscrutable ...
paperbacks and paperbacks are not the only things to consider.

October 22, 2005 11:42 am

 
Blogger Chris shout your mess

And that, Anonymous, is as true today as it ever was.

What the hell are you talking about cuntyballs?

October 22, 2005 11:46 am

 
Blogger MadMondo shout your mess

So it's 1067 and suppose Harold had beat William. They would have been saying the same then. And it would be partly true. Large sections of the English language have been bastardised from the Norman invaders depending on the relative make up of the social class in which it was used (fot example English food definitions are largely derived from French leaving older English terms to decribe the animals from which they are derived). So who is to say that had Boney won it would not have had a similar impact? And whilst Germans remain speaking German a great deal more can speak English as a result of the Great and Second World Wars. The key difference is how the administration of the counrty would be changed by an invasion and one can point to the great Persian and Middle Eastern empires to see that unification of language is indeed a possibility.

No country's people ever take well to being invaded but pretext and behaviour of the occupiers together with access to arms and basic amenities might have a little more to do with their antipathy than the language spoken by grunts in a HMMWV who generally would rather be anywhere else than in psycho Saddam's old stomping ground. Oh sorry - went all WBB on your ass for a second.

But I do agree on your main point - the fuckwit filosfer in the steet is usually an ill-educated over-opiniated cunt with little or no rationale section in the minscule termination of his spine which is laughing refered to as his brain, and whose removal from humanity may possibly be an improvement for us all. KILL THEM! KILL THEM ALL I SAY! (Can't talk - having a seizure :) )

October 22, 2005 7:28 pm

 
Blogger MadMondo shout your mess

Sorry, forgot English in Nigeria, Uganda, Kenya etc.; French in Cote d'Ivoire, Tunisia, DRC, etc.; Portugues in Mozambique and Brizil; Spanish all over the goddam place..... (Heavy club lands on MadModo's head finally silencing the fuck).

October 22, 2005 7:53 pm

 
Blogger Chris shout your mess

Please tell me that you pronounce it as Keen-ya like the old Africa hand that you are.

October 24, 2005 11:24 am

 
Blogger MadMondo shout your mess

Is there any other way old boy?

Soz - shit week. Nuff said.

October 24, 2005 9:17 pm

 
Blogger bigfootcookie shout your mess

I still think that Emporer Caligula would have made a beter job of running the globe than the current round of arse jobs.

At least you knew what he was up to. Either shagging his sister, or killing someone.

Cup of tea with your buggery session, Sire?

October 24, 2005 10:22 pm

 

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