Kiss me Hardy, but not french

Yesterday many people around Britain remembered what was undoubtably one of the countries most important naval victories.At the Battle of Trafalgar on 21 October 1805 the Royal Navy defeated Napoleon's combined French and Spanish fleet in a famous and crushing victory.

Generally interesting coverage was marred only by a succession of people when asked about the importance of the historic victory responded "Well, if it wasn't for Nelson we'd all be speaking French now wouldn't we?" usually with a look to camera that suggested a new Oscar Wilde walked amongst us.

Apart from the crushing banality of this oft-pronounced cliche (insert Americans/French/German as required) it's clearly bollocks. Germany defeated twice last century, not yet ordering tiffin in jolly old english.

But it might explain the continued insurgency in Iraq. Locals think American and British occupying forces are obsessed with insisting the poor buggers learn english as soon as possible. After years of sanctions and living under the brutal regime of Saddam Hussein they finally broke - thinking they're going to be forced to learn a weird language full of homonyms and odd tenses.