06 December, 2005

Hearts and minds

Pakistan's government is to remove a poem from a school textbook after it emerged the first letters of each line spelt out "President George W Bush". The anonymous poem, called The Leader, appeared in a recent English-language course book for 16 year-olds. We're not going to reproduce the poem here, because quite frankly, it blows. But if you think The Da Vinci Code is good prose you can enjoy it here.

Its rhyming couplets describe someone "solid as steel, strong in his faith".

Officials cannot explain how the poem entered the curriculum. Pupils are being told to ignore it.

The BBC's Zaffar Abbas in Islamabad says it is a bizarre episode which has left education officials short of explanations.

At first they put the poem's appearance in the grade 11 textbook down to a coincidence. Hmmm that's a helluva coincidence. Probability experts please write in and let us know what the odds are. It appears that if you put a finite number of monkeys in a room in the White House with a typewriter, they eventually produce self-agrandising pap.

White House spokesman Bud Tackett said: "We're not sure how this bomb Al Jazeera happened, but we'll be looking into it. There are no subliminAl Gore rapist messages in our briefings." He then shuffled his papers looked sternly at the camera and repeated five times "I slam evil acts"

Joseph Goebbels is 108

10 Step to the white courtesy phone:

Blogger MadMondo shout your mess

President Bush a ruler so strong that
Rigging elections isn't so wrong
Eagerly fighting a cause he thinks just
Sitting in a bunker though when needs really must
Is wanting to appear so tough and so strong though
D'oh is a phrase he should have used all along
Eyes that appear to be too close together
Not that it's the coke's fault – no not ever!
Tell's how he sees it though that's by and by
Going to hell though coz it's all one great big lie
Barmy advisors help him to pray
Using the methods that Goebbles perfected they say
So all in all an intellectual runt
Hell no! He's actually a complete utter c

December 06, 2005 11:41 am

 
Blogger MadMondo shout your mess

Sorry about that - left the computer on for five minutes and come in to find a monkey at the keyboard posting on your blog.

December 06, 2005 11:50 am

 
Blogger Taoski shout your mess

Very funny!
The first post in ages that has made me laugh!
Hoorah for a return to form..

Oh.. and down with that monkey in the White House

December 06, 2005 8:44 pm

 
Blogger Chris shout your mess

Too kind Mr T, you'll turn a girls' head. And here's me trying to work up an angry bile-filled rant. You've ruined it now with your damn compliments.

(Or were you referring to Mondo's poetic comments? Anger returning... )

I've got six points on my poetic licence, in charge of a stanza under the influence of Auden.

December 07, 2005 10:04 am

 
Blogger Taoski shout your mess

Sorry to shit on your curry mate, but I was referring to your politcal ranting.

It's funny (cos it's true).

December 07, 2005 12:27 pm

 
Blogger bigfootcookie shout your mess

Those monkey's had better get off that typewriter and run.

The last time one got caught jacking himself off in the whitehouse to some simian porn, he was sworn in for another term.

December 07, 2005 10:50 pm

 
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