I heartily endorse this product or book

Oh Carol Vorderman, how much does the marketing department love you? Let me count the ways... I'll have two off the top and three from the bottom.

Carol's ever so clever. She can do sums. In her head. Whilst twinkling gaily towards a presenter, not like that Rain Man who can also do sums but is a bit scary.

Carol's the acceptable face of book learning. Ever so clever for a lady! Bright in a way that the folk watching telly can understand. More of a parlour trick than anything else.

And you what that spells? Money in the bank. Want a vaguely scientific gloss over your product? Carol's agent can quote for you on the phone today. It's the only choice if you're having trouble hawking margarine or dubious diets. Need your sudoku compilation to stand out from the crowd? Carol's got some paperwork on her right now for a simple cover shot 1 year deal.

As time and exposure take their toll keep an eye out for Carol's hold'em poker sets and the Vorderman system for picking steeplechase winners.