11 March, 2006

Uncontrollable German rampage

It's a familiar occurence - being tailgated by a rapid 3-series beemer, lights ablaze. At least Kevin Nicolle, 25, had an excuse after the accelerator on his BMW jammed resulting in him driving for 60 miles at speeds of 135mph.

Kevin was on the A1 near Thirsk in North Yorkshire when the car started to accelerate. "I was in tears most of the time on the phone to the police - I really could see myself dying,"

Applying the brakes kept the car at 70mph, presumably holding up other BMW's on the A1 until the notoriously fade-prone brakes gave up the ghost. Kevin attempted to put his automatic into neutral but the transmission was locked.

One can only assume that at no point anybody from the police or the AA suggested turning the key in the ignition to the 'stop the engine running' position.

The police took the car away for tests and BMW said they would carry out a full investigation, "Somehow zis man has managed to turn off ze fog lights, it is unacceptable".

Any readers undeterred by the lazy stereotyping of BMW drivers as deeply flawed lonely losers with a 'little man complex' may wish to click here to bid for Dylan Klebold's 82 BMW 320i, the very one he drove to Columbine High School.

4 Step to the white courtesy phone:

Blogger MadMondo shout your mess

As a BMW owner I take gross exception to your post. The next time I see you at the wheel I'll drive you off the road. And I'll tell all my friends about what I did - or I would if I had any.

March 11, 2006 3:54 pm

 
Blogger Chris shout your mess

Hola amigo,
I'm glad you passed by. As an owner of an automatic 3-series you're perfectly placed to join in my little experiment. I call it "The runaway train".

I'm keen to discover whether turning the key mid-journey shuts the engine off.

If, as I suspect, it does, we can pile on down to Portsmouth where I believe this nimrod lives and hurl abuse (and other stuff) at him.

It's alright, we can tailgate people on the way I promise.

March 11, 2006 9:43 pm

 
Blogger MadMondo shout your mess

Irresponsible full beam foglit tailgating BMW action - ahhh, it's all coming up Millhouse.

March 12, 2006 12:09 am

 
Blogger Chris shout your mess

"These photocopiers don't sell themselves you know!

Out of my way plebs.

Boo yaa, I'm so on target this month - Johnson can eat my dust."

*thinks* if I sell enough wonky copiers to the orphanage can I spec leather on my new 316?

March 12, 2006 9:43 am

 

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