Must try harder

"Zammo" MacGuire impersonator Peter Doherty has been arrested in east London on suspicion of possessing Class A drugs. Unlike Docherty however, Grange Hill's Zammo once recorded a song that people have heard of.

In yet another tragically embarassing gaffe Peter was held after stopping his car for police, who had been attempting to flag down a car behind him in Hackney. A Scotland Yard spokeswoman said: "Police indicated to a vehicle to stop and another vehicle also stopped in front." Police spoke to, but did not arrest, the driver of the first vehicle during Saturday's incident.

Seeing Mr Docherty's lack of the essential skills needed to be a disolute rock star is at first comical and then sad. If this incident proves anything it is that the last person to be convinced of his bad boy status is Peter himself.

You can't really imagine Keef diving for the kerb, putting his hands up at the first sign of a blue light in the mirror can you? No, because the mirror would be on his lap fighting for space with a blonde dressed as a Nazi fellating him.

Some people have just got it, and some people aint.