04 June, 2007

Could you direct me to the nearest gun shop?

Arggh! Must stop channeling Richard Littlejohn... I can feel the dread words "You couldn't make it up" rising like so much bile in my throat even now.

I have a particular fondness virulent hatred for the obvious corporate PR fluff piece lazily recycled as NEWS. When that corporate PR is in the form of a 'survey which shows XX% of Britons...' then it's a fair bet that I am to be found ranting like a Littlejohn think-piece on why the darkies are ruining everything. Be very scared then - this latest example is both of those with an additional cherry on top, mind bending stupidity. This place is going to hell in a handcart I tell you.

Many British motorists are lost when it comes to understanding common road signs, a survey suggests. 67% of people polled did not recognise "no through road" signs, and one-third could not identify the sign for "no motor vehicles".

Fewer than 33% knew what a "no cycling" sign looked like and one-third were confused by height restriction signs car manufacturer Vauxhall discovered.


Rather than settle with the story "Huge number of drivers are dangerously uninformed, appear strangley proud" Vauxhall's publicist had the genius idea of asking the unwashed hordes what new roadsigns they'd like to see. Holy shitting christ! These answers scare me witless, the tacit implication of what people think roadsigns are actually for followed by the damming reality of what they'd like to see signposted...
  • cash machine nearby
  • urban foxes crossing

The next most popular new signs motorists wanted to see were ones warning drivers to be more environmentally friendly by switching off their engines - for instance, outside schools while waiting to collect children.

Other popular suggestions were:
  • Wifi hotspot
  • Healthy eating zone - indicating places where healthy food is on offer
  • Drive-thru approaching
  • Up-to-date children-crossing signs - with the boy wearing a hoodie;
  • Beware of skateboarders.

Simon Ewart, of carmaker Vauxhall, said: "...our research shows that there is a need to contemporise the road landscape to mirror the needs of modern motorists. We've all been on wild goose chases looking for cash machines. A new road sign could save endless hours searching the streets."

4 Step to the white courtesy phone:

Blogger Roo shout your mess

Saving the environment .... by looking at the sign and switching your engine off as you wait for Binky... WALK TO THE EFFING SCHOOL!!!

Also - any halfwit with a satnav ( and I include myself here) can program it to advise on practically anything from cash points to Anne Summers shops. Actually I've never uSed that setting......

June 04, 2007 12:59 pm

 
Anonymous Blognor Regis shout your mess

Fewer than 33% knew what a "no cycling" sign looked like

Well I for one would expect a picture of a bike with a line through it but that for somereason it's a picture of a bike with nothing through it. Confusing or what?

Also, talking of signs, isn't your header one incorrect? '3' roads being anti-clockwise of the '4's.

June 04, 2007 2:10 pm

 
Blogger MadMondo shout your mess

Having had one of these imbeciles reverse into the side of my car last week oblivious to the basic function of a rear windscreen the problems are even worse than Vauxhall's pissant Simon has reported. This also has to be the laziest piece of reporting seen on the BBC News website by quite some measure - and that is saying something given their usual reprehensible standard.

Blognor makes a good point - or are we through the looking glass people?

June 04, 2007 4:55 pm

 
Blogger Chris shout your mess

As far as the clockwise road numbering thing goes... I had no idea.

Me not knowing about some esoteric piece of British road lore. The shame. I shall have to look into it, I merely picked numbers out of the air.

You're right BG there are some odd and even counter-intuitve roadsigns out there. However, driving a ton of metal around at 70mph is a privilege not a right and one is supposed to learn what the signs mean before being issued with a license.

June 04, 2007 5:42 pm

 

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