Bonnie Langford's hellspawn

Is there anything more annoying than a precocious child? Of course there is, one that gets indulged instead of a clip round the ear.

A 10-year-old schoolgirl who wrote a self-help guide to help her deal with her parents' divorce is to have her book published, it emerged yesterday. When her mother and father separated three and a half years ago Libby Rees wrote a list of the things that helped her make sense of what was going on. The result was a 60-page book called Help, Hope and Happiness, containing gems like the following:

Positive thinking Try looking in the mirror, first thing in the morning and say out loud to yourself "I am better and better every day!" five times.

You might think it's a little cruel to have a pop at a 10 year old, even if it now becomes clear who's been authoring all those motivational posters. You'd be wrong. Libby's stepped into the limelight to share her prepubescent wisdom with anyone willing to pay. Different rules apply now poppet.

Where the fuck were the parents, whose duty it is to raise our junior scribbler, and protect her? Protect her from stupid ideas for trite empty photo-op stories where everybody ends up used?

Probably in a bidding war with Richard & Judy whilst considering sexually abusing their youngest to get a lucrative two book deal.