21 December, 2005

The going is good

The gallant sport of Kings has reacted to the unprecedented rash of suicides amongst lowly staff at racing stables today. Henceforth, these workers will not be known as stable lads, but as unstable lads.

In April, Eric Clamp, a stable lad from Newmarkethad garrotted himself using the bed railings. He was 33. Last month, Paul Matthews, a 41-year-old from Liverpool, was found hanged in the stairway at La Grange by his fiancee, who also works there. It was the sixth suicide among stable lads and ex-stable lads from Newmarket in under three years and, after the death of 40-year-old Jeff Brown, who worked in David Loder's yard, the third this year. The deaths make the suicide rate among Newmarket's 1,000 or so male lads (there are a similar number of female grooms) more than 17 times that of the national average for all men.

It's a trend that is confounding. What could possibly be upsetting these working class lads. Surely they're born to get up at three in the morning whatever the weather and be abused by trainers who are often ex-army and always old-money. It's every peasants dream to work for way less than minimum wage to run a super-rich owners idle plaything.

"When you've spent a career waiting upon and cleaning after one of these beasts it gets into your blood" said stable lad Derwin Oiin. "They're inbred to the point of madness, extremely fragile mentally and physically. You can see it in their eyes, the foaming mouth and flaring nostril. And they're no use in any other place."

For many stable lads the only alternative is working with royalty. Small wonder they choose the sweet embrace of death.

6 Step to the white courtesy phone:

Blogger MadMondo shout your mess

Ah yes, the noble sport of kings - degrading the impoverished serfs to a point where they either kill themselves or rise up and murder you. You can't place bets at William Hill on your favourite stablehand's expected time of demise or the instrument of termination he may use but I bet you can with those spreadbetting cunts in the City.

December 21, 2005 11:46 am

 
Blogger Chris shout your mess

So much anger...

Yes that's it, join me and see the awesome power of the dark side.

Channel your anger Mondo, and we can rule this blogosphere

Mwa ha ha mwa ha ha

December 22, 2005 10:46 am

 
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