All I wanna do... is make you shut up

Cyclist Lance Armstrong and singer Sheryl Crow have said they are separating, five months after announcing their engagement.

A joint statement gave no reason for the "very tough decision", and they appealed for privacy "at this very difficult time".

Armstrong, 34, who has won the Tour de France a record seven times, has been married once before. World famous for feats of stamina and endurance against all odds, Armstrong said there's only so many fucking times I can hear that tune about the carwash and drinking suds. For fucks sake woman.