04 February, 2006

Seedy CD artwork

An Arctic Monkeys spokesman has defended the band's album cover, after it was criticised for showing a man smoking a cigarette.

Dr Laurence Gruer of NHS Health Scotland said the chart-topping album's cover "reinforces the idea that smoking is OK", he told the Herald newspaper.

Dr Gruer recognises the sad truth that kids these days will basically imitate any image that they see. Unquestioning hordes now queue up for a "2o deck of tabs" just like their new favourite band.

Startling evidence from the driverchris archive backs up this common sense finding.

The Beatles: Yesterday and Today
Now a rare, sought-after LP. This artwork was withdrawn after driverchris was found draped in dolls parts and meat. Wearing a lab coat. Note the fab four's jovial expressions. They don't give a damn about the kids. Scousers.

Rage against the machine: Killing in the name
Combined with the halucinatory quality of a second-hand copy of "Wish you were here" picked up at the church jumble RATM's breakthrough hit album was resposible for driverchris shaving his head. And then self-immolating in protest at not getting a new skateboard.

So in conclusion, Derren Brown is a charlatan, and people will do whatever you put on the front of an album cover. Under no circumstances whatever should any house contain this album (click at your own risk).

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