Please kill me!

A Devon pensioner's digital television box started a sea search operation when it sent out a distress signal. The emergency signal was picked up in Scotland at RAF Kinloss. The base alerted coastguards at Falmouth who sent out two lifeboat rescue teams.

Mary Donaldson, 67, from Wembury near Plymouth, said she had no idea her Freeview box sent the signal until her home was traced by Ofcom.

A similar incident in Portsmouth in January also started a sea search.

The current thoery being offered by technicians investigating is that the set top boxes picked up on possible plans to view the new 'soft chat' show hosted by Davina McAll and made a frantic bid for help.

Donaldson was aghast. "I just mentioned that it'll probably be a car crash of unrelenting idiocy, compelling in it's awfulness. The crow-faced moron magnet's got Vernon Kay as a guest for christing piss sake!"